Saying no is okay

We all know the feeling. We are super stressed, got 20 things on the to-do list for the week, and then your friend calls and ask if you can meet for coffee Sunday afternoon. The two hours you had hoped could be used on the couch doing nothing.

Maybe it isn’t this extreme, maybe it’s worse, the point is that we all have periods in our life where we feel overwhelmed.

And even when pulling hair out, feeling like crying in the bathroom, or so stressed we have been forgetting to eat for three days, we keep saying yes.

Yes to overtime.
Yes to meetings.
Yes to coffee dates.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

We do this because we’ve been told from little that that’s the polite thing. We do it because we don’t want to disappoint. And we do it because we feel an obligation towards the people around us.

But we often forget that we also have an obligation towards ourselves. That we need to take care of our selves before we can take care of everyone else.

So today I’m here to tell you it’s okay to say no.

It’s okay to tell the boss you can’t do overtime.
It’s okay to say no to that coffee date.

It’s okay to take care of yourself.

Taking time to just breath doesn’t make you a bad person. Saying no to go out with the girls just so you can lie on the couch, eating chips and watch bad tv doesn’t make you anti social or a bad friend.

It means you are saying yes to self care. It means you’re saying yes to recharging your batteries. It means you’re listening to what your body is so desperately trying to tell you.

Saying no is okay.

Are you bad at saying no, or have you learned to listen to your body? Let me know in the comments.

Love, Tea

56 thoughts on “Saying no is okay

  1. I love this, Tea! I spent years saying yes to everything, even when I was snowed under, because I was taught it was the polite thing to do. But 12 months ago I started saying no and it was the best thing ever. Saying no doesn’t mean you have to be rude, but saying no is a part of our own self-care, you’ve nailed it! x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally agree – saying no is so important for our self-care. Life can get so busy and overwhelming we need to regularly take time out to rest and recharge, and if that means saying no to other things, then that is perfectly okay 🙂 Thank you for sharing and reminding us to look after ourselves. Great post, Tea! ❤ xx

    Bexa |

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow this is so relatable. I was overworked over the last few days and my manager asked me to do overtime on my day off because one of my colleagues called in sick. I nearly had a hard time saying no because I felt bad. But I had to say no because I was tired of always saying yes!! So thank you for this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I find saying no quite hard. I think I’m getting better at it in some situations but I still find it difficult to turn down a friend that just wants to go for coffee. In my head that doesn’t seem like it should be any effort but it doesn’t always turn out that way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We have been taught from small that saying yes is importnat, and the right thing, but I think it’s important to think of saying no as the ultimate selfcare. It allows us to recharge our batteries so we can be better to ourselves, but also to our friends and family.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve always been relatively good at saying ‘no’, but the problem was often my fear of missing out. Because sometimes going despite initially not being interested to, was totally worth it. But often it wasn’t. It took me years to teach myself out of that mindset and perhaps age has helped too. These days I prefer a homecation rather than running around the city all night.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Beautiful message… something we so often forget. I have always been a people pleaser and sometimes struggle with saying no. It has gotten better over time. Self care is so important. If we are burnt out and starting to lose ourselves entirely it isn’t healthy. It is good to be honest with ourselves and others.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I used to be really bad at saying no, but since having my little boy, I’ve been a lot better. Because I can’t just drop everything and go out now, it’s forced me to say no to people, and actually, it’s really refreshing.

    I just wish I’d started doing this years ago!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh gosh I really needed this today. For the past three weeks I’ve been doing so much overtime at work and I feel like leaving on time is bad when I shouldn’t have to feel like that! It’s exhausting but maybe next week I’ll be better at saying no to doing overtime

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. I read this thread online with people talking about things that felt bad, even if it wasn’t and an overwhelming amount of people said that leaving on time from work always felt like they where doing something wrong. And that is so sad. I hope you have a better week next week 🙂


  9. This has to be one of the most important blog posts I’ve read. So often we feel that we have an obligation to stick to these commitments we’ve made, and it is not the case at all xx Thank you for sharing xx


  10. Completely agree! I often say yes and then end up over-working myself and having to cancel last minute. It makes me feel even worse when I have to do that, and it probably makes me come across as a bad friend, too. I think I need to learn to say no more often to avoid getting into these situations!

    Beka |

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I totally relate to this post. I used to say a lot of yes, for work especially, till I ended up not being able to cope with everything. No, I respect my own time and say no when I need to. This post is a perfect reminder that we have to take care of ourselves first.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Absolutely! We’ve recently implemented that we will not do social meet ups on Sunday’s. We’re mega busy at work during the week, socialise on a Friday and Saturday, and found that if we went to see people on Sunday as well, we just didn’t have time to chill out and do nothing.
    So far, it’s great!

    Em x

    Liked by 1 person

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